


and miles to go before i sleep

by mockturtletale, princelingdongsicheng



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Sickfic, Touring, Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 14:56:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14381046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mockturtletale/pseuds/mockturtletale, https://archiveofourown.org/users/princelingdongsicheng/pseuds/princelingdongsicheng
Summary: "rooming assignments for monsta x's Monster Hotel Trip Extravaganza will be decided by a game. i'm picking the game from these options because i pretended to cry when manager hyung said i couldn't just have a room to myself and let the rest of you sleep wherever."changkyun shakes the cup in his hand so vigorously that the folds of paper crammed inside threaten to topple out, and wonho calms down considerably.he has been grossly mislead.this isn't important, like, at all.





	and miles to go before i sleep

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a wip but i'm posting part one with part two already written and ready to go etc. no pressure on commenting / kudos'ing, but as a writer and human being i'm super motivated by the sense that the reader is enjoying the story, so comments that reference the fic, characters etc., will make me greedy to post more. :D 
> 
>  
> 
> shoutout to my best girl karla for holding my hand on this one. 
> 
> beta by k and l &hearts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

somewhere over wonho’s shoulder, deep in the dark depths of the cluttered backseat-slash-nest that wonho has always used his age to escape, minhyuk is talking about the rooming assignments for the hotel stay they’re on their way to. 

 

wonho can’t hear another voice, which could mean a couple of things. 

 

minhyuk might be talking to one of the members of their group who are actually capable of being quiet. or maybe he’s talking to someone else as exhausted as wonho, who has poured himself into the front seat of the van and refused to be parted from his heavenly head rest since. in all honesty, it’s just as likely that minhyuk is talking to himself, so wonho isn’t going to put much effort into figuring it out. or, like. any. 

 

sure, the hotel stay in question is the longest they’ll have had since debut, six days and five nights with the same roommate all throughout - assuming no one blackmails someone else into swapping or a duo needs to be forcibly separated after a serious fight or something. neither of those things has happened yet, so wonho isn’t worried that it might and he’s certainly not concerned about his own assignment. 

“... so that leaves wonho with jooheon, man that’ll be a weird room,” minhyuk is mumbling to whoever and wonho summons the energy to sort of frown, for that. it’s almost an actual facial expression, at least. he tries, is the point. 

there’s absolutely nothing weird about a room that wonho and jooheon will be sharing, by themselves. 

it’s so un-weird a concept that wonho doesn’t even bother to point this out to minhyuk, although he could, if he wanted to. he could remind minhyuk that no roommate pairing in this group can truly be weird or unusual or new or worth mentioning, even, when all seven of them have shared several dorm spaces over several perfectly normal years at this point, in every possible arrangement and set. 

no one in their group could be strange or in any way different to room with. they’re family by now; basically brothers. or whatever the word for closer than that is. 

wonho lets minhyuk keep mumbling sweet nonsense to the ether back in his den of spare socks and crushed snack packets, and slumps even lower in his seat, curling down small and out of view and tucking his too hot cheek against the back of his hand to try and inevitably fail to sleep. 

 

-

 

[ before the beginning ]

 

once wonho became a trainee, everything became about trainees for him. 

those around him instantly unfolded from a general hive of people into divvied up squadrons of Other Trainees, Potential Trainees, those who Were Trainees but had managed by now to make it, and Those Who Hadn’t And Never Would. Wonho didn’t for one second consider himself different from or better than anyone else; could never no matter how many times it was said to him (whether with malice or pride) that he would make it - truly _believe_ that. 

wonho couldn’t know that, then, couldn’t know much of anything beyond lifting whatever food he found in front of him to his mouth and following the steps and sounds he was guided to replicate as best as he possibly could. 

when jooheon came, wonho knew he was here to stay. 

“lee jooheon will be joining your team from today,” was what had been said, but ‘this one, this one won’t ever go away,’ was what wonho had heard. 

“you’re so good, you’re going to make it, you have to be part of this team,” kihyun had said at the end of the week, when they’d heard jooheon rap, when they’d all by then been victim to his charms, his aegyo unleashed in the form of a guerrilla blitz attack that not even the most hardendly unaffected managers could survive. 

“brother” is how shownu refers to jooheon after their second monthly evaluation with him as part of the group. 

 

-

 

[ now, again ] 

 

wonho knows without peeking up out of his hiding place that jooheon has fallen asleep. 

he’s sick today, hasn’t really been feeling very well all week if you can catch him in a rare moment when he’s too tired or hopped up on meds to lie about it. 

for the first time all day his breathing has evened out, the slow swells of air as they sweep from his lungs so soft that wonho has to work extra hard to make the sound stand out. 

rooming with jooheon like this will be quiet and restful and wonho isn’t happy for any of them to fall ill but however jooheon is feeling really has no bearing on much of anything. 

someone is always sick or injured or more tired today than the rest of them, pushed too far into exhaustion when they’d already been knee deep in it the day before and the day before that. 

nothing really changes, not overall. 

days roll over them like waves and they can only duck deeper down under the surf to keep from drowning. 

today is no different, tomorrow will be the same and wonho rooming with jooheon _still_ isn’t a big deal. 

 

-

 

[ one week ago ] 

 

“jesus fuck, my ears,” kihyun says, cringing, and he’d probably put his hands over said ears if he wasn’t already using them to massage a brutal knot from shownu’s shoulder. 

hyungwon has just whistled so loudly that dogs and the occupants of this room were probably the only ones unfortunate enough to have to hear it. 

“i am so, so very sorry,” hyungwon tells kihyun, clearly not meaning it at all. now that he has everyone’s attention he nods towards changkyun who is standing next to him and holding a cup full of folded paper like he comes bearing the olympic torch itself. “but we have important business to attend to.”

wonho is instantly on high alert, because hyungwon and changkyun should never be collectively tasked with anything at all, let alone something important. he locks and pockets his phone and starts scanning the room for the closest fire extinguisher. 

“room assignments for monsta x’s Monster Hotel Trip Extravaganza will be decided by a game. i’m picking the game from these options because i pretended to cry when manager hyung said i couldn’t just have a room to myself and let the rest of you sleep wherever.” changkyun shakes the cup in his hand and wonho calms down. 

he has been grossly mislead. 

this isn’t important, like, at all. 

he couldn’t care less whether he rooms with shownu or changkyun, because there are general twos and threes that get grouped together based on age, relative responsibility and whatever other magic bean nonsense methods managers and tour organisers use to try and apply logic and reason to idols who by night and by day seem to survive by sheer force of will to succeed alone.

shownu will sleep a lot and eat a lot and generally continue to be goldilocks with a gym addiction, or else changkyun will read a lot, game even more and bankrupt wonho in his never ending quest to acquire all of the vending machine foods known and available to mankind. either way wonho will rest and exercise and monitor their performances and practices and maybe, if he is a very lucky boy, get to rest a little more. 

wonho takes his phone out again, ready to get back into his kk chat with mark about calisthenics, when changkyun continues, finally saying something that warrants wonho’s undivided attention. 

“all existing roommate couples are void. this, my friends, will be a free for all.”

no one else seems to take much notice of this and the room continues on exactly as it had been. 

wonho, however, drops his phone into his backpack and gets to work. 

 

-

 

[ some say it took days, while others remember it as a brutal but mercifully swift battle. monsta x’s thigh war tournament becomes a thing of legend among all idols, and although many speculate, no one can definitively account for why this time, why this day, why this group, why so many bruises. 

it is said that more than half the group shed tears, though none will admit to this, ever. 

a medic has to be sent to their section backstage and seventeen’s seokmin will for several years henceforth show anyone who cares to see it the blood stain that’s forever left behind; a thing of beauty and horror and ultimate inspiration to rookie groups and sunbaenims alike. 

a bone was broken, some say, though most speak instead in awe of the grave and honored bond first born that day. 

through all the myth and rumour and hysteria, only one true fact is gleamed. 

 

shin hoseok reigned supreme. ] 

 

-

 

[ now]

 

“i think … i think i need to lie down now,” jooheon says as soon as they’ve dropped their bags inside the door and it’s lucky that he specifies ‘now’ because needing to lie down is kind of a constant, for them. 

“sure, of course, let me help you,” wonho steps up to jooheon’s side and he’s about to offer him his hand, but jooheon is already reaching for the corner of the desk for support and then face planting neatly onto the nearest bed. 

“.... or i could just unpack very quietly while you sleep,” wonho says, knowing even before jooheon’s soft snores fill the silence that he’s talking to himself. 

wonho kneels on the floor between the end of their beds and dressing tables and carefully, near-silently unfolds both his and jooheon’s things from their bags. 

every few minutes wonho sits back on his heels and stops what he’s doing just to listen. 

he doesn’t know whether he’s listening more intently to the slight changes in jooheon’s breathing, or for the wide, blooming cloud of quiet that makes them seem so much further from the rest of their group - from the rest of the whole, sprawled and roaring world - than they actually are. 

jooheon’s sleeps easily. wonho sleeps well. 

 

-

 

[ before ]

 

none of them are particularly good at english, even if they are marginally better at that than most other languages thanks to pop culture and rap music. 

in theory they’re supposed to study on a regular basis, but in reality it’s become a matter of filling in a few pages of a workbook when they’re finished using it as a mat for their dinner, or find it in the bottom of a laundry basket on cleaning day. 

wonho nearly broke his neck on one when he’d gotten out of the shower this evening, and minhyuk isn’t home to be scolded about kicking things under his bed indiscriminately, so for lack of anything else entertaining to do, wonho is learning. trying to, at least. 

“hyungwon hyung, have you seen the english sheets, i wanted to -”

the timing is impossible to confuse. as soon as wonho sits up, making himself and the book in his hands visible from the top bunk, jooheon’s face shuts down. the bright set of his eyes and the easy, young grin he’d been flashing hyungwon just falls away. 

“they’re here, i’m just, you can -” wonho basically leaps out of bed and flies down the ladder to present jooheon with what he’s asking for, but jooheon is already backing out of the room, mumbling jumbled together half sentences about not needing it, being sorry for disturbing them and leaving again before wonho can reach him. 

when wonho looks back at hyungwon, the question obvious, hyungwon just shrugs and puts his second earbud back in place. 

“it’s jooheon, hyung. he’s weird with the hyungs.” 

jooheon is for sure different with the older members; silly and respectful with shownu and worshipful of minhyuk, patient for his doting. kihyun and hyungwon get all of jooheon’s gratitude, his trust and his shoulder when they need one to lean on. 

with wonho, jooheon seems to cling to whatever distance he can get his hands on - their age, their hometowns, their relative dancing abilities. all the things he seems to think himself lesser for. 

to wonho, jooheon never feels so far away as when he’s standing right next to him. 

 

-

 

[ now ]

 

shownu and kihyun want burgers, which kihyun helpfully relays by banging on his little chest and yodelling about men and hunting and gathering while shownu gazes fondly on like winnie the pooh eyeing up a swimming pool full of honey. wonho wagers he’s maybe four seconds away from all out applauding. 

“i can’t stop thinking about sushi after we watched finding nemo last night” is minhyuk’s input from where he’s draped half off the couch, half on i.m. 

“you’re sick, but honestly i’m just impressed by it by now,” is the maknae’s shiny-eyed response. 

hyungwon doesn’t look up from his game, but because appearances are usually deceiving, at any given point of time he can and will put away as much food as the rest of them combined. 

“i could eat someone’s lost kid,” he says between the blips and chings in whatever game he’s playing and minhyuk shoots him finger guns and a wink in response. 

one day wonho might have to seriously look at the tendencies of his members, but today - and as usual, if he’s being honest, which he tries not to be; not with himself, not too often, not enough that it hurts - he’s ready and primed to chime in with something he thinks jooheon might want to eat, because jooheon rarely gives him the chance to merely add himself as a plus one to jooheon’s plans, nutritional or otherwise. 

no one had told wonho that being a kpop idol would be quite this difficult and he’s upset about it, honestly. 

“how about some haejangguk, heon-ey?” he suggests, because there’s nothing better to fill a tired and aching belly, honestly. except maybe like … unconditional love and affection or whatever, probably, but wonho wouldn’t know for sure, it’s not like he thinks about it much. 

jooheon visibly startles and wonho is suddenly more tired than he thought he was, leaning towards haejangguk himself even though he hadn’t really thought about it until right now. 

“uh. i .. um. i like burgers,” jooheon says after a pause that seems noticeable to wonho alone.  
wonho spends more time that way than he’d like; noticing jooheon in ways that other people don’t seem to. alone. 

jooheon doesn’t really like burgers. 

wonho settles for ramen, like always. 

 

-

 

[ before ] 

 

organising dinner for all of them is a lot like the hunger games in more ways than one. you’d think that after a few years practice they’d have gotten better at it by now, but since wonho is the only one considerate enough to have a staple favourite food, things have only gotten - in true monsta x fashion - much, much worse. 

minhyuk has his phone jammed between his shoulder and his ear as he hops around the living room trying to tug his second sock on, and wonho just can’t bear to interrupt his cries for a pen to tell him that there are four sticking out of various regions of his bedhead already. 

shaking his head politely is wonho’s act of kindness to minhyuk and his harried state when his order is demanded. 

jooheon isn’t home from his weekly idol filming schedule yet and maybe he’ll want to eat when he gets back. or maybe jackson will already have brought him for food. it’s not that wonho has much reason to care either way. but it makes sense to wait and see if they might be able to eat together. just in case. 

it’s nearly 2am when jooheon gets back. 

“i was just resting my eyes,” wonho says and jooheon’s shriek is lightning quick and piercing before he manages to clap a hand over his own mouth. 

“hyung. hyung why are you sitting here in the dark, i almost died of fright.” jooheon collapses onto the couch next to wonho, so close to him that their shoulders knock together and wonho has never been so awake and so hyper alert in his life. 

“i was just watching tv,” wonho claims, praying to whatever god might be listening that jooheon is too tired to call him out on the blank screens on both the television and the laptop on the floor by wonho’s feet. 

“cool. i’m just gonna close my eyes for like a second and then i need to eat before i go to bed, don’t let me sleep here, hyung.” 

wonho holds his breath and if he wasn’t also putting every ounce of his energy into keeping as still as he possibly can, he’d reach down and pinch himself too. jooheon has just tipped sideways and let his head fall into wonho’s lap. he’s curling his knees up onto the couch and tucking his hands between wonho’s thighs and the couch cushion. it’s a good thing wonho can’t bear to pinch himself, because he never wants this dream to end. 

“sleep a little,” he says to himself, because jooheon has already fallen away into oblivion, sinking into a dreamland that has been calling to him. 

“stay here a while,” wonho says, as he goes to join him; to find him there, if he’s lucky at all. 

 

-

 

[ then ]

 

jooheon never had to lose weight and really never should have, but wonho understands the pressure to always, always, _somehow_ be better and he doesn’t for one second blame jooheon for bowing beneath it. he definitely spends more than a second thinking about jooheon bowing beneath **him** but that’s neither here nor there. 

so when wonho knocks on shownu’s door to let him know his five minutes of prep time are up and it’s time to go hit the gym, he’s only half surprised (half utterly beside himself with delight) when they turn together to leave only to find jooheon already waiting for them by the door, brand new gym bag slung over his shoulder. 

“I wanted to come along, maybe do some cardio?” he says, mostly to Shownu and he actually sounds uncertain, looks at the floor between them like a stray cat that’s about to be shooed away. 

wonho’s heart does this thing that it’s started doing a lot, lately. if he had to describe it, he might say it feels kind of like his heart gets really really full really really fast, completely out of nowhere. in theory that should be a good thing; something _heartening_ , being overwhelmed in the most positive sense of the feeling. that’s not how it feels to wonho, though. looking at jooheon’s slumped shoulders, listening to the uncertainty in his voice that cuts into wonho like a blade, his heart feels like nothing but a stone, dropping into the pit of his stomach without warning. 

“you’re always welcome to come with us, anywhere we’re going,” wonho tells jooheon, because shownu is busy scrolling through his workout app, murmuring to himself about the benefits of high intensity training. 

wonho even goes so far as to put his arm around jooheon’s shoulders and even though there aren’t any cameras on them, jooheon doesn’t shrug it off. 

‘come everywhere with me,’ is what he wants to say, but swallows instead. 

 

-  
-  
-

**Author's Note:**

> this is all fiction and just for fun.


End file.
